In the past six months, I have been reflecting on my schedule. My needs as a woman, a mother, an employee and a writer. I have a a full time job which limits my time and I have realized that as a writer, free time is my most precious commodity.
I have gone through a bit of a rollercoaster in my personal life and my anxiety has been acting up in waves. Mine ressembles a grumpy sea dragon riding the tide to besiege me with guilt, suffocation and fear. In an effort to ward it off, I have learned to go back to the basics, make myself a schedule and rebalance my life.
I have been told that the key to managing my anxiety is through meditative practices. I simply cannot empty my mind. I studied Buddhism in order to try and gain a deeper understanding as well as attended some guided meditation classes. The idea of emptying my mind in itself appears to give me anxiety.
In making my schedule, I realized that that a spiritual dimension was lacking in my life. Similarly to most teenagers, I discovered the Tarot in late grade school. My girls and I enjoyed pulling each other’s cards and playing Ouija on many a preteen Saturday night.
In the past few years, tarot, crystals and semi-precious stones, aromatherapy and other forms of alternative belief systems have been trending once again.
I have decided that my journey towards meditation will be pulling one card a day and reflecting on the message it captures. I will let my intuition lead the way and let go of the anxiety. Breathe in. Breath out. Balance. My mantra for the upcoming year remains be brave.